Finding Balance: The Art of Self-Care and Giving

The Price of Giving Too Much

Some days, it genuinely feels as though we've been robbed—held up at gunpoint—not for our money, but for something even more valuable: our time. It's like living through a wild western shootout, but instead of bullets, it's responsibilities flying at us from all directions. People cope with this chaos in different ways. Some always put themselves first, no matter what, even if someone else desperately needs help. Others, like myself, consistently put their own needs last—so far behind that even a turtle would seem lightning-fast in comparison, ensuring everyone else is cared for before themselves. Then there's a third group, the enviable few, who somehow manage to save the world while keeping their own lives in peaceful balance. I have to admit, I fall into the camp of those who put themselves last, pushing to the breaking point, like a carton of eggs dropped from hundreds of feet, just hoping to remain whole.

The Breaking Point

There are real consequences to always putting yourself last. Eventually, you reach a breaking point. Life's tasks pile up, much like an ever-growing mountain of laundry. Suddenly, it's as if firecrackers are exploding all around you while you’re simply trying to steal a quiet moment alone in the bathroom, scrolling through social media. Meanwhile, your neighbor is off enjoying a vacation halfway around the world, and you—thanks to a moment of poor judgment as parents—have agreed to allow one of your kids to care for his untrained dog and a cat. What was supposed to be a simple job for one of your kids turns into something more complicated, more like being an Amazon supervisor sorting endless Prime packages. Ultimately, it was our fault for agreeing, and as we’re out there hosing down Olympic-level messes of poo and pee from the porch yet again, I just lost it.

The Need for Balance and Support

This leads to my main point: How do we learn to recognize when we’re taking on too much and neglecting ourselves? How do we help someone who can barely manage Hamburger Helper dinner turn into a gourmet meal with filet mignon, roasted potatoes, and asparagus? At our core, we all need to love and be loved—to feel the sun shining on us from both sides. Life cannot be entirely one-sided or managed alone.

Learning to Love and Be Loved

First, we need to practice love. That means performing selfless acts, giving others what we all need, and finding true satisfaction in making someone else happy. It's also crucial to recognize when someone is depleted—running on empty when it comes to love or care. Just as important, and sometimes even harder, is learning to be loved. We must allow ourselves to receive help and trust that others will reciprocate or at least recognize when we’re not surrounded by those who can offer emotional stability or comfort. Everyone needs validation and, even if just for a moment, to feel cherished. Without this, our struggles only intensify, pushing us so far past our breaking points that not even the strongest glue could put us back together.

Admitting to Struggles

I'm not afraid to admit when I feel completely depleted—emotionally bankrupt. If I can admit it, surely others must feel the same way. There’s no way I’m alone in this.

Finding Humor in the Everyday

For a bit of comic relief, let me share a funny story from the week—equal parts embarrassing and amusing. Like many, I try to keep up appearances, hoping to maintain the spark in life. My eyebrows aren’t the thickest or most luxurious, but I’m grateful for what I have. With a rare 30 to 45 minutes of free time, I decided to get them threaded. I figured, why not go the extra mile and get a full-face threading? After all, I’m approaching 46, and it seemed like a good idea to refresh my face. But I often forget how sensitive my Irish skin can be. The aftermath? My face looked like it had the worst diaper rash imaginable, and no fancy balm could fix it. I didn’t even want to step inside the convenience store with my youngest, but no amount of embarrassment was going to stop me from buying him some Big League Chew gum.

So here I am, typing away at this blog, choosing to embrace the day as it comes. But that’s life. Sometimes we just need to recognize the break to glue it back together before there’s no Amazon or Lowe’s options remaining to glue it back together.